A cleric who is the Team Mom and only heals by kissing you on the forehead and buffs you by licking her thumb and rubbing away some schmutz on your face
someone’s like “you know that’s not actually required for your job” and she’s like “shhhhh my beautiful child, my healing my rules, I made you a potion, it’s chicken noodle mana”
Their holy sigil is a macaroni necklace you made in second grade. You didn’t know them in second grade. You’re not sure how they got that macaroni necklace. You ask them about it, and they just slip you a twenty and tell you to get whatever you want at the food court. “What is a food court?” you cry, but it doesn’t matter because they summoned a hero’s feast and everything tastes wonderful, and at some point you crawl into their lap to cry about something you thought you were adult enough to handle.
“This is you handling it,” they say. “You’re never too big to ask your mom for help.”
“You’re literally not my mother,” you sob.
“But metaphorically,” they say, and you’re like truuuuuuuuuu and sob a little more before they tuck you into a bedroll because you’ve got a big day tomorrow stopping an assassination at a royal palace
How bout: urban magic but in a way where magicians mix shit in a cheap pot on a stove or microwave it to make potions like how college students try to make ramen taste good
help i accidentally created a cleric with a -1 to religion checks how the fuck did i even do that
“hey i just realized, we’ve been on this trip for weeks and i’ve never really seen you praying”
“eh, yeah, i mostly only do that sort of stuff at greengrass and midsummer”
“…. sharindlar literally gives you magical powers. you have a magical tattoo.”
“yeah she’s cool, she knows i’m busy”
religion checks are more about knowledge regarding deities than devotion
“don’t worry, guys, sharindlar will smite the shit outta anyone we need smote, that’s what she’s all about!”
“… isn’t she an avatar of mercy and life?”
“she’s an avatar of shut the hell up”
Character with skill sets that don’t match their class are my favorite thing
When I first started playing Pathfinder I thought “craft” meant like “watercraft” and I gave a ton of it to my Barbarian so I wouldn’t be useless running with the two pirates in our group.
Mid game my DM was like “No… Like… Arts and crafts.”
And I was like “Fuck it he knits, is there any yarn on the ship?”
DM: *Rolls dice* … *Looks up* This shipment is nothing but yarn.
Me: I’m going to knit a sweater.
DM: What’s your craft score again? *Looks at page*………………. Don’t even roll…
DM: So you all pull into port wearing sweaters beautifully knitted by our goddamned Barbarian.
Ragtag group of scoundrels & assassins: Yay!
i generally don’t reblog this post much because if i did that for every example someone reblogged this with i’d spam everyone’s feed, but i love this
While I was sick in bed for several days, I tried my hand at making a fantasy map (possibly for Pathfinder homebrew.) I tried Inkarnate initially, but I got frustrated and decided to hand draw/color everything.
It’s a really different kind of art than what I’m used to, but I’m pretty pleased with my first solid attempt!
Want to throw 9 handaxes in a single turn??? Do you want to be feared??? Here’s how.
Step 1: Pick the Fighter Class okay I know it sounds basic but trUST ME on this one Step 2: Screw those Background items!! Screw those Class items!! You don’t need ‘em!! You have dice! And according to PHB Chapter 5 page 143 table 1 “Starting Wealth by Class” *ahem* that’s 5d4 x 10 GP worth of starting equipment. So what do you buy with C: Axes. Hand. Axes. (Okay so assuming the maximum GP (200), get some Leather or Hide armor (10 GP) because… I mean you probably want that and then spend the rest on handaxes.) That’s 38 Handaxes “But Luna!” you might ask, astounded by the multitude of crude axes I have hanging around my belt, “How do you carry all of those!” (they weigh 2 pounds each and your carrying capacity is str score times 15 so like it’s almost impossible not to be able to) STEP 4: Throw??? Them??? Just throw them. Recover them after the battle. Also, since they have the Light property, you can use two-handed fighting to throw two per turn! “Okay what about that fighter thi–”Okay here’s the deal Take the two-weapon fighting style so those Bonus Action axes get that sweet, sweet STR mod. If you want, you can become a Champion, get a second fighting style, pick Archery, and now you have accurate handaxes.
Now the real money here is “how many handaxes can I throw per turn?” Keeping in mind the Fighter’s Extra Attacks and Action Surge (Note: An action surge gives an extra action, and Extra Attacks are each time you take the Attack action, so keep that in mind), I’ve made this neat little visual.
You are now a human(oid) machine gun of handaxes. … One last thing: Take the Sharpshooter perk. Gets rid of disadvantage at long range, meaning you can throw 9 axes from 60 feet away. Remember: With great power comes great responsibility. And at least 38 handaxes. Godspeed.
Sorry, but you’ve got some of this wrong. The Sage Advice Compendium of errata and stuff says that the Archery fighting style doesn’t apply to axes. Page 4 here:
Ah, right you are, friend! Thrown weapons, like handaxes and javelins, have the “thrown” property, not the “ranged” property. Therefore, archery doesn’t apply! My mistake.
But! All is not lost, my axe-throwing adventurers, as the sharpshooter perk, luckily, does still apply! Sharpshooter applies to ranged weapon attacks, not attacks with ranged weapons, and thrown weapon attacks are ranged weapon attacks, so it counts. Wizards of the Coast’s casual-yet-oddly-specific language is ingenious, but sometimes you really gotta dig into it.
Anyway, we still get Sharpshooter, which means we still get our 60 ft. thrown handaxes that ignore all cover except for full cover. Those hobgoblins better be hiding behind a full fucking wall or else.
So, where do we go from here?
Well, of course, you could still take the Champion subclass and become the ultimate axe-throwing athlete, taking the Defense fighting style instead just to get a +1 AC bonus…
…
Or you can take the Battle Master subclass.
You can use your horrific axe-throwing speed to impose upon your enemy’s mind and make them fear you, as they should.
You can throw your axes so soundly into an enemy’s being that they fall over or fly backwards, not from the wound but from the force.
You can throw an axe so well at poor sucker that it fucking disarms them.
Oh that’s a real cool greatsword you’ve got there Ms. Fire Giant, sure do think it’d look better on the ground though.
You are now the captain of axe throwing. The battle strategist whose strategy is uuuuuh, axes maybe????
(Also Battle Master gives you proficiency in an artisan’s tools so you can like… Make pottery too. That’s nice. Not everything’s gotta be axe throwing.)
And remember:
This post is super min-maxy (… except for the part where you start the game without any food or torches but ignore that for now), but D&D is all about roleplay. It’s about shared storytelling. Which means, if you’re going to throw 9 handaxes in a single turn…
Might as well have a badass backstory and motivation to go along with it, right?
[The following text may have been edited for accessibility]
“This is essentially a character sheet, but it’s for towns and other settlements instead of persons. It’s intended to help guide the creation process and facilitate reading and organization.
Below are Google Drive download links. All PDFs have two pages: the first one is the front and the second one is the back. The Form Fillable version has no lines, so you can download and print it without filling the forms if you want.
I intentionally left some things out from this sheet:
Some DMs like writing down “Notable Items” in their settlement notes, but this has never made sense to me. I view special items as NPC belongings or Quests rewards, not something location specific.
The prices, foods, drinks and services provided by the local inn, as well as the inventories of stores. Rather than writing all this down for every settlement, I prefer having a single document for every store. I recommend checking this [Traders & Merchants homebrew] and this [Shopping Catalog homebrew.] Both can be referred to whenever players visit any and all stores.
Town random encounters. I don’t do those, personally.
Of course, if you want to write down any of those you can use the Notes section in the back.
[The following text may have been edited for accessibility]
“This is essentially a character sheet, but it’s for towns and other settlements instead of persons. It’s intended to help guide the creation process and facilitate reading and organization.
Below are Google Drive download links. All PDFs have two pages: the first one is the front and the second one is the back. The Form Fillable version has no lines, so you can download and print it without filling the forms if you want.
I intentionally left some things out from this sheet:
Some DMs like writing down “Notable Items” in their settlement notes, but this has never made sense to me. I view special items as NPC belongings or Quests rewards, not something location specific.
The prices, foods, drinks and services provided by the local inn, as well as the inventories of stores. Rather than writing all this down for every settlement, I prefer having a single document for every store. I recommend checking this [Traders & Merchants homebrew] and this [Shopping Catalog homebrew.] Both can be referred to whenever players visit any and all stores.
Town random encounters. I don’t do those, personally.
Of course, if you want to write down any of those you can use the Notes section in the back.
SlythKris (tumblr backup babey) 