Peter Parker: -on meeting Loki, offers his hand- Hi, I’m Peter!
Loki: -shakes his hand- Loki of Asgard.
Peter: Aren’t you like…a bad guy?
Loki: It varies from moment to moment.
Peter: So like…on a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst evil imaginable, like…killing puppies, and one being I’ll spit on your hotdog…where are you right now?
Loki: …maybe a three?
Peter: Cool. Lemme know if it gets above a six.
Loki: -thinking- I like him.
It had been a joke, a flippant line, but somehow, Loki found himself taking the youth up on it.
It was hard living around these heroic Avengers, hard trying to stay close to Thor. And when he felt his need for mischief rise too high, when he felt exasperation with these Midgardians turn too close to spite, he would casually say “Six.” to the young man, or sometimes “Seven.”
And Peter would spend the rest of his day with Loki. He would badger him with questions about magic, or drag him across his beloved city to see its entertainments, or take him along stopping petty crimes. He grounded Loki to the here and now, and distracted him from the churning, jagged shards of ice in his mind.
WE NEED LOKI AND PETER FICS
Stark’s brat had a system. It had been amusing, at first glance, especially when “killing puppies” was apparently a higher level of evil than trying to take over the world. It had risen and fallen – two, five, one. There were honestly good days.
It took some time before a truly bad day came up.
After a difficult battle, the Captain was being particularly sanctimonious, his team following suit. Even Stark made biting comments.
Loki could scream.
“Spider-man,” he said as calmly as he could. The young man glanced up, having been tying up some of their enemies a few yards away.
“Seven.”
“… okay, guys, I’m going to head out with Loki for the rest of the day. Don’t need us for debrief, yeah?”
“Sure,” Stark shrugged, glancing between the two of them oddly. Loki wasn’t entirely sure what the plan was. They went in civilian clothes to a small café.
“I wasn’t paying attention, so whatever was said, I don’t agree,” Peter began. “But that’s not what I’m here for. So. When you teleport, how does that work? Is it harder with longer distances? Or is knowledge of the place more helpful?” Loki blinked, but explained. It led to a discussion of magical theory. Peter (Loki still called him Parker aloud, but the child and even his young friends grew on him in time) was eager and curious, comparing what he knew from Strange and fantasy books to Loki’s knowledge. It was admittedly fascinating to see how many versions of sorcery humans had created by mere imagination. He was definitely amused by the elves and dwarves of Lord of the Rings.
Sometimes Peter tentatively asked about Strange and Maximoff, if they were doing similar things. Never if Loki was at an 8 or above though.
“Strange is like a child prodigy. He’s good, picks the practical parts up well. He even got the jump on me – but he has not had as much time to study as me. He’s a student where I am a master. Maximoff is incredibly powerful and incredibly lucky, but she does not have much training at all.” Sometimes conversation turned to music, animals, current events.
Peter was good. It was odd, how Loki became so sure of the fact so quickly.
After the conversations, often accompanied with food or a walk, he was always down to a 3 or so. Which made Peter an important person.
So the next time Peter was in trouble and the Avengers were indisposed, Loki was not the least bit surprised that he was not the only one ready to tear someone apart for the kid. Two men in red – one with horns, one with guns and swords – a young girl with cat-shaped blasters on her hands, and the Captain’s assassin friend. Loki curled his lips and muttered:
“For anyone that harms you? 10.”
IT GOT MORE SINCE THE LAST TIME I SAW IT AND IM IN LOVE
also, the fact we get Daredevil, Deadpool, Shuri, and James teaming up with Loki to protect Peter? I AM HERE FOR ALL THIS HELLS YES
(I thought I didn’t have anything to add but I do)
It was just after noon on a Saturday when Loki got a text from Peter, all it said was
‘8, I’m at home′
Peter had never used their number system for himself before.
Loki had promised the boy’s aunt he would not teleport into their home and while he’d had every intention of honouring that promise, this was definitely an exception.
When Loki materialized in Peter’s room, his friend was pacing, angry and red-faced. Loki had never seen Peter furious before.
Peter began shouting when he saw Loki, ‘Men are scum! Irredeemable, horrible, crappy, scummy scum!’
‘Thank you for telling me, Peter.’ Loki said, sitting down on Peter’s bed. ‘Any particular men inspiring this diatribe?’
Peter grabbed a pillow off his bed and screamed into it, ‘There’s a guy at Aunt May’s work who’s harassing her and she says I need to stay out of it and let Human Resources do their jobs and he’s a creep and he’s making May feel creeped out and… I don’t know what to do.’
Loki blinked. Of all the people Peter could have gone to, he had chose Loki.
‘Thank you, for telling me this. Although I’m not sure how I can be of help.’
Peter flopped down onto the bed next to Loki, ‘You’re my friend and you’re an adult. And I wasn’t sure who else to talk to.’
Loki flopped back next to Peter, it seemed appropriate. ‘If Human Resources doesn’t sort this out to your satisfaction, I can turn this person into a goat.’
Leftist: “Here’s my take. I dont think this should be like this and here’s why.”
Libertarian: “By posting you have agreed to debate *ME*. And I feel bad for you because I am the *EMPEROR GOD* of *LOGIC* and *REASON*. Kneel before my *VAST* *INTELLECT*. Gaze upon it with your plebian eyes and *COWER* knowing that your faulty neurons are about to be *BLOWN* by a mere *FRACTION* of my *AMAZING* mental capabilities. You’ve *FUCKED UP* even *DARING* to challenge an objectively *SUPERIOR* being such as *I*. Go ahead stand in amazement. Now *PREPARE* for this keyboard *SMACKDOWN*!
Yes but for a more scorching hot take:
Marginalized leftist: *becomes visibly upset after someone or a group of people viciously attack their efforts to get equality, or just plain ad hominem attacks*
Libertarian who is not of that marginalized group: clearly your emotional response to me arguing that you dont deserve rights proves that you are IRRATIONAL and UNTRUSTWORTHY and you have proven that I, A (straight/white/cis/male/rich/etc) AM CLEARLY INTELLECTUALLY SUPERIOR
remus lupin who rolls his eyes and looks away when something amuses him that really, really shouldn’t
remus lupin who bites the inside of his cheek when he really, really should not be laughing at that joke but is having a hard time not giving in
remus lupin putting on his stoic face because he absolutely, really should not be laughing at that joke, but then james stares at him expectantly and he doesn’t last more than twelve seconds before his face cracks into a wide grin that mirrors his mates
remus lupin having to cover his eyes with a hand because he’s been laughing his arse off for eight solid minutes and his stomach is burstin and he has just, just pulled himself together, but if he looks at sirius one more time he’s going to lose his shit again
remus lupin with the driest, sarcastic sense of humor you’ve ever heard
remus lupin with perpetual smile lines around the corners of his mouth and eyes before the years of loneliness, worry, and anxiety deepened them
remus with the same lopsided smirk he’s learned from his friends, and though it’s not a pronounced, it comes just as easily when he’s with them
remus lupin with a quiet laugh that takes awhile to warm up before increasing in volume and intensity and becomes the loudest, boistrous of the four and is always the last to die down
remus lupin who will throw your line back at you seven minutes later and arch an eyebrow and a tiny, self-satisfied smile that tells you he’s won
okay so we all know teddy’s a hufflepuff like his mom but he’s not like, a hufflepuff hufflepuff. you know what i mean. we all headcanon hufflepuffs like “soft sweet food baby!!!” and most of them are. ernie macmillan, hannah abbott, even professor sprout. soft sweet food babies, like plants and sunshine, whatever.
but teddy lupin’s not like that. because teddy’s a cedric diggory hufflepuff. we all talk about how he’d set records for pranks like the marauders or fred & george, but let’s think about it- he wouldn’t even have to. he’s dating a hot eighth-veela ravenclaw, he’s head boy, and his godfather is harry chosen one potter, so we know he already thinks he’s a badass. and the other hufflepuffs would see it too- look at this awesome guy with the power to change his appearance at will, look at him dating the most beautiful girl in school (and also probably the smartest and most punk, i mean come on she came from fleur charmed a dragon delacour and bill i’m never cutting my hair weasley), look at him tell embarrassing stories about the guy who killed the dark lord, he’s amazing, and he’s a bloody hufflepuff. they would flock to him. he wouldn’t be this punk, angsty, my parents died orphan kid, because molly weasley would never let him feel like an orphan, and harry’s been there and would make sure the kid had a good upbringing, and andromeda tonks raised nymphadora tonks so she’s already dealt with the punky teenager and you just KNOW teddy would one-up his mom and set new records for rebelling but not getting caught.
so teddy’s a cedric diggory hufflepuff. he’s gonna care fiercely about his friends and work harder than anyone else and make it all look effortless. he’s gonna get the girl he wants and he’s gonna be himself to do it, because, honestly, who’s cooler? he’s gonna feign modesty when needed and inspire envy and crushes in lesser boys. teddy lupin isn’t a sunshine-and-food hufflepuff, and he’s not some angsty-punk-slytherpuff-hybrid, either. he’s the son of the brains of the marauders (we all know Lupin’s the reason they didn’t get expelled). he’s the son of the girl who flaunted bubblegum pink hair while fighting death eaters. teddy lupin’s a cedric diggory hufflepuff.
This is what I’m here for. Not only do we need men supporting women who come out about sexual abuse but we really need men supporting other men when they come forward about these stories. Like not only am I happy that Brendan came forward but I’m so proud of Terry for voicing his support of Brendan. This is huge.
Brendan Fraser was sexually assaulted!? What the fuck!
Back in 2003 he got sexually assaulted by the former president of the
Hollywood Foreign Press Association. This was during the year “Looney Tunes: Back in Action” came out just to ruin that movie for everyone but nobody would listen to him.
It actually almost derailed his career, the effects were so devastating for him. Terry is the first celebrity I’ve seen even acknowledge or support him since he started telling his story, and really some of the only support I’ve seen in general. The fact that people still don’t know about Fraser’s story even now (he came out with it during the height of the me too movement last fall) shows that it was largely ignored/swept under because of his position as a victim, at least in the eyes of society and larger news publications.
“Money can’t buy you happiness” is propaganda from rich people to convince the poor to be satisfied with less.
Delicious, finally some good fucking food.
they’ve actually studied this, and there is a measurable point up to which money basically does buy happiness, and then past that point it stops
a billionaire is not guaranteed to be any happier than a millionaire, but both those people are almost guaranteed to be happier than someone living in poverty
(the “point” turns out to be “the time at which you have enough money that all your needs can be met without anxiety and you have some amount of money left over to do things like pursue passions, give back to the community, and do other emotionally fulfilling things.” what a shocker!)
“Free market” capitalism does NOT care about raging forest fires, it does not care about endangering firefighters, it does not care about people dying due to lack of healthcare insurance. Unregulated capatilism cares only about making profits, apparently at any and all costs.
SlythKris (tumblr backup babey) 