madqueensarah:

If you’re an adult, do the stuff you couldn’t as a kid.

Like, me and my sister went to a museum, and they had an extra exhibit of butterflies. But it cost £3. So we sighed, walked past, then stopped. We each had £3. We could see the butterflies. And we did it was great. We followed it up with an ice-cream as well because Mum and Dad weren’t there to say no.

I was driving back from a work trip with 2 other people in their early 20s, and we drove past a MacDonalds. One of the others went “Aww man, I’d love a McFlurry.” And the guy driving pulled in to the drive through. It was wild. But it was great.

I went to a park over the weekend and I was thinking “Man, I’d love to hire one of those bikes and cycle round the park.” It took me a few minutes to go “Wait, I can hire one of those bikes!”

I guess what I’m saying is, those impulsive things you wanted to do as a kid – see the dinosaur exhibit, play in the fountains with the other kids, lie in the shade for 2 hours – you can do when you’re an adult. You have to deal with a whole lot of other bull, but at least you can indulge your inner 8 year-old.

hpconversations:

kyraneko:

systlin:

jumpingjacktrash:

cicutadouglasii:

jumpingjacktrash:

roachpatrol:

cicutadouglasii:

cicutadouglasii:

yknow the more jk rowlings world falls apart in america (race relations, international history, population, etc) the more i like to think that america just straight up doesnt have the statute of secrecy. european countries are falling over themselves hiding magic but come to georgia and theres a drunk redneck wizard wingardium leviosa-ing the shit out of a tractor to the delight of his drunk redneck muggle buddies in a walmart parking lot.

wizard on muggle violence is prevented by virtue of there being like a 50/50 chance that muggle is packing heat. muggle on wizard violence is prevented by knowing that wizard can give you boils spelling LIL BITCH on your forehead if you try to start something.

america is the weird redheaded stepchild of the magic world.

im not gonna stop reblogging this until this is the next Hot Fanon

english muggles come back to england and suspicious wizards meet them at the airport. 

‘did you witness any strange or inexplicable acts while you were in america?’ they demand. 

the english muggles just laugh in their dumb fucking faces. mate, it’s america. 

what’s the difference between a werewolf and an animagus?

english wizard: *two hour lecture on legal history*

american wizard: six beers

@jumpingjacktrash congrats ive read hundreds of comments on this dumpster fire of a headcanon and yours is the best

thank you my patronus is a monster truck

I have reblogged this I don’t even fucking know how many times but I still completely lose it every time I see the words “My Patronus is a monster truck” because that is the most AMERICAN thing I’ve ever seen in 29 years of being ‘merican.

Variant: What with the International Statute of Secrecy being an international law, the American magical community suffered quite a bit at the hands of forcible attempts to make everyone conform to it, until anti-seclusionist magical forces got their hands on the sort of magics being used to hide the wizarding world from nonmagical society, and hid themselves and their communities from the magical government and its institutions.

That’s why Ilvermorny is “the only American wizarding school.” That’s why the American magical population feels like something the size of the British one pasted on something a couple orders of magnitude bigger. That’s why Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them is so white. That’s why nonmagical people have a persistent quiet willingness to believe in magic just enough to allow for the possibility of its existence, and fill their stories with it, and readily interact with the idea of it. It’s an elaborate homegrown smokescreen to hide hundreds of integrated magical communities from the magical community that demands magical communities keep themselves secret.

The forces behind the International Statute of Secrecy made themselves such an absolute nuisance that some 95% of the magical population of America stole their hide-from-the-muggles spells and locked them out of knowledge of their existence.

The International Wizarding Community: “You are now forbidden to let any nonmagical people know you exist.”

Six Gazillion American Wizarding Communities: *Jedi mind trick hand motions* “Fuck you, we don’t exist. Nothing to see here.”

The International Wizarding Community: “Looks like the problem’s been solved, I guess. Pip pip cheerio.”

Six Gazillion American Wizarding Communities And Their Muggle Friends: “OK I’mma cast Engorgio on my tires and invent Monster Trucking, hold my beer.”

Not a quote
 But I couldn’t help myself
 

potter-otter14:

John Mulaney was accidentally made immortal in the early 20th century by a witch named Petunia who later turned herself into a dog by accident and John takes it upon himself to care for her to his annoyance because she promised him she’d reverse the spell on his immortality one day

neshtasplace:

probablefox:

Yea guys. Me too. I want black women. I want the Queen of Junkertown, and I want her to be a member of the First People. I want obvious, canonical LGBTQA+ characters, especially trans and non-conforming ones. I want anglo-saxon and West European characters to just stop being released, for God’s sake, we have too many of those. I want more “good” aligned dark-skinned characters like LĂșcio, I don’t want the bad white people only to be of an endangered culture like Moira, I’m tired of morally questionable POCs like Sombra and Symmetra.

But fuck me if I’m not stoked to have an absolutely ridiculous space hamster in a ball.

Not everything gaming does needs to be politically charged on purpose. They created a moon gorilla. They like going ridiculous on Overwatch.

We still need to press for more actual representation on the OW cast, we shouldn’t stop. But Hammond is ok. It’s absurd, ridiculous fun. We need fun.

agreed, but maybe they could have waited like, a week to have released it?

Like, I am beating this dead horse, but timing is also kind of an important thing.

fuckyeahasexual:

fuckyeahasexual:

fuckyeahasexual:

So if you lived in a society where you had to secure your communication in order to be yourself around others, here are the apps that could help you do that.

Signal let’s you securely text and make phone calls.

Onion Browser allows you to surf the web without leaving a trail.

Duck Duck Go isn’t super secure but it won’t record your searches like Google.

ProtonMail is a email client that lets you email other secure email accounts.

Periscope allows you to stream live video.

Semaphor is there so you can securely make group chat rooms.

American privacy laws allow you to use these all. So that’s pretty cool.

Bunch of protests this weekend so here’s some added tips. Don’t officially sign up for them, many RSVP’s are a Terms of Service saying you will fully and quickly follow every direction an officer gives and protestors often do get arrested for a number of (bullshit) things. Signing proves you were there and may give up other rights you have depending the TOS. (Normally your right to sue if something bad happens.)

If you do sign one, make sure you are on your best behavior don’t want to risk everyone on the list because you were forced to jaywalk and the police start grabbing whoever is close for it. And now suddenly warrants are going out days later for more people.

Don’t fingerprint or face unlock your phone. Neither are legally protected by the 4th amendment.

If you are white and privileged dress like you are going to church and use that privilege as a buffer between anyone who might be trouble and someone who needs protecting.

99% of protests are actually nothing but shouting chants and waking peacefully along. Expect the best but prepare for the worst.

hentaioatmeal:

My absolute favorite part about queer eye doesn’t even have to do with the LGBT representation. It’s the fact that this is a show that focuses on men in a way that allows them to show emotion and open up about their feelings. It shows men who are real, men who don’t have perfect bodies, men who aren’t super masculine, men who are awkward, men who are older. I love that it shows so many different types of men and gives them the tools to take care of themselves in a way that men don’t usually get taught to do. It really gives them such a confidence boost each time, and it honestly warms my little gay heart to watch.